When you lose a loved one, grieving is not something that ends when the funeral service is over. Grief can be a palpable part of your life for years, and many people eventually need to seek grief counseling to help them learn to cope with their feelings. For people living with a loss, mindfulness can be a way to move forward. By being mindful of your feelings and proactive about finding a new way to approach life, you can learn to control your grief rather than letting it control you. Here are some ways to practice mindfulness as you deal with a loss.

Be Reflective
Take time to consider other painful experiences in your life and how you managed them. Think about the strategies you used to cope, and ask yourself if any of those efforts could help you now. You should also think about how you felt as you were recovering from past hardships and if there were any signs you can recognize that you were turning a corner in your recovery. Seeing that you have faced pain in the past and that you did recover can give you the confidence that you have the tools to get through this as well.

Stay Centered
It’s inevitable that overwhelming feelings of sadness, regret, and helplessness will strike you as you’re grieving. These feelings may come out of nowhere when you think you are feeling strong. Rather than trying to block these feelings, acknowledge them and experience them, but then practice meditation or try deep breathing. These practices ground you and anchor you to the present, so you can be in control of your feelings.

See the Future
Set time aside to focus on the kind of future you can see for yourself. It may be helpful to look for a way that you can engage with some of your interests and honor your lost loved one at the same time. By seeing a future for yourself, you can see a way to manage your feelings.

At Chapel of the Chimes Oakland, our compassionate staff is here to assist families who are making decisions about funeral services, burial, and cremation during difficult times. Find out how we can help you by calling our funeral home in Oakland at (510) 654-0123.

Funeral pre-planning ensures that your final wishes are honored and relieves your loved ones of the burden of making difficult decisions at an emotional time. When you pass, your plans can simply be put into action by the funeral home, allowing your loved ones to focus on their grief and comforting each other. If you wish to have a secular funeral service, then pre-planning can be even more important, because it allows you to state your wishes explicitly. Here are some tips for pre-planning your secular funeral.

State Your Wish for a Secular Service
Even if your friends and family know you to be a non-religious person, don’t assume that that means that they will know you want a secular service. Without specific instructions, some family members may plan a religious service for you out of tradition, while others may do so because they believe strongly in the importance of a religious ceremony. Your funeral plan should specify clearly that you want a secular service, so that there are no questions about your wishes. Likewise, don’t rely on stating that you want a secular service in your will or other estate documents, as they will usually not be read until after the funeral.

Choose Readings
Considering choosing readings for your service during the pre-planning process. This will take this responsibility off the shoulders of your family, and it gives you an opportunity to choose secular pieces that speak to you. You may also wish to do the same for the music included in your ceremony.

Find a Service Location
For religious funerals, the place of worship is usually where the funeral services are held. With a secular service, you have more options. The funeral home that is assisting with the planning process can help you find a location for your service that is experienced in holding secular funerals.

Chapel of the Chimes Oakland is adept at accommodating the beliefs and preferences of all of the families who come to us. For assistance with funeral pre-planning in Oakland, please call (510) 654-0123.

For a young child, death is not an easy concept to understand. After a loved one passes away, in the midst of dealing with your grief, it’s important to explain the death clearly to the young people who are affected by it so that they too can grieve the loss in a healthy way. Even if you decide it’s not appropriate for your children to go to the funeral home, you may still want to take some time to explain death to them.

Watch this video for advice on explaining death to young children. When doing so, remember to use honest language and avoid euphemisms, like going to sleep or going to a better place, which can create fear and confusion.

At Chapel of the Chimes Oakland, our compassionate funeral home staff understands how overwhelming funeral planning can be, and we are here to support you every step of the way. When you need our services, call our funeral home in Oakland at (510) 654-0123.

After funeral services have ended, your connection with your loved one doesn’t. Visiting your loved one’s gravesite or mausoleum is a good way to keep that connection and revisit your memories. Unfortunately, some people shy away from visiting cemeteries, because they aren’t sure what to do there, even when visiting their loved one could help them in the grieving process. Don’t let these concerns keep you away from honoring your loved one and the relationship you shared. Consider these visitation ideas when you go to the cemetery.

Bring Flowers
Bringing flowers to a cemetery might seem like a cliché, but the reason so many families do it is because it is comforting to leave something bright and beautiful at the headstone, which is typically in a somber color. You can bring flowers that you know your loved one adored or simply choose a seasonal bouquet that demonstrates how much you still care for your loved one. Check with the cemetery to find out what their gravesite decorations rules are and their policy for cleaning these items up.

Go with Family and Friends
When family and friends go to visit a cemetery together, they can use the time to share favorite memories and talk about things that are happening in their lives today. Many people find comfort in talking about their challenges and major decisions they’re facing at the gravesite or mausoleum of a loved one. It’s OK for friends and family to enjoy the time, joke, and have fun together as they share cherished memories.

Pack a Lunch
Bring a snack or a lunch and enjoy it on a nearby bench, or perch on the ground near your loved one’s gravesite. Some families choose to do this on special days, such as their loved one’s birthday. Doing so can make you feel especially connected to the person you lost.

Visiting the cemetery can play an important role in the grieving process. At Chapel of the Chimes Oakland, we offer grief support services in Oakland to help in your time of need. For more information about our funeral home, call (510) 654-0123.

Oakland Magazine has named Chapel of the Chimes to their annual The Best of Oakland list under the category “Best Funeral Home”. Chapel of the Chimes was proudly voted #1 by the magazine’s readers.

Chapel of the Chimes was founded in 1909 and has become the Bay Area’s most desired mausoleum. Much of the columbarium was designed by world-renowned architect Julia Morgan who is also known for her work with Hearst Castle in San Simeon, CA. Julia’s inspirational touch can be seen in the intricate stonework, generous skylights and peaceful interior gardens that reflect her architectural training in Paris and her love for California pottery.

Over 100 years of caring and the wide variety of service options have helped Chapel of the Chimes become the best funeral home in the Oakland area. General manager Marcie Russell explains, “We want our community to know we are here to serve them in a personal way and to get to know them. Our goal is to provide families with the best customer experience through our helpful staff, our beautiful facility and unique ceremonies.”

The Chapel of the Chimes Oakland has always been community aware and involved. Public events and concerts, including an annual Jazz series, help create healing experiences for the community. Schedule a tour of Chapel of the Chimes Oakland and find out for yourself why it was voted Best Funeral Home. Or call 570-379-5200 for more information.

The Best of Oakland edition is published annually each June and celebrates local and independent businesses. Oakland Magazine reaches 65,000 readers per issue and is distributed at fine stores, businesses, and hotels in the Oakland area.